I live each day as it comes and keep on top of "me" time, what my boundaries are, requesting that I have what I need in my relationships, consider everyone when I make decisions, keep asking questions, don't assume or expect anything, remain open and honest with myself and in communicating and live with as much integrity as I can muster.
I suggest you do a whole lot of reading here as you are not alone, have asked a similar question to many before you and have a similar situation. I also suggest your men stay on top of what poly theories and language is out there and educate themselves.
Try doing a search in the tags for "foundations" "lessons" and any other tag that catches your interest in the tag cloud.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM