I understand what you're saying about about independent urban women and their diverse interests and busy schedules and possible sporadic date habits. What I took from this was a decision not to date. Different than if the right guy comes along or the right situation happens I'll see were it take me. And I don't think there's anything wrong with NOT wanting to date... no matter what the time frame.
I was thinking that maybe the worrying or little voices and that conflict are connected to messages/conversations direct or subtle with family and or parents. That whole parent approval thing.
As I see it the "worrying issue" is the only thing I'd work on because it's stopping you from completely enjoying life. You're going to fuck up... its a given and ....who's keeping score...(if there is any tell them to fuck off) and you are going to die....so go find the happy life you want and have fun.