Wow, so much has changed over the last few months. My wife and I have become legally separated and her relationship with her new boyfriend is progressing slowly but surely.
As for me, I have become sort-of caught up in a poly-relationship of my own. I am the 2nd boyfriend of my girlfriend. She has been with the other guy for a couple years and their relationship is stable and predictable. They actually hope to marry at some point. At the same time, she and I have fallen madly and deeply in love with each other.
The crazy part is that she doesn't believe in polyamory and is almost constantly fighting feelings of guilt. I have tried with very little success to tell her that loving two people isn't abnormal or sinful or any other negative thing. It is an expression of a big and loving heart.
I wouldn't think of asking her to leave him for me because I know she really loves him in their way. I also know she and I love each other in our own way. But she keeps it a secret from the other guy and I think being deceptive is the thing that bothers her the most.
I wish I could help her feel more comfortable with the situation. She's this strange mix of religious conservative and sexual animal. I just want her to be true to her own heart.