Originally Posted by texaschick
My secondary (hate that word)
Being poly is about sharing and making the other person happy.
Call him your boyfriend if you hate that word
I am glad you are feeling better now.
No poly isn't going to be about sharing and making the other person happy for a lot of people. I mean I hope to bring happiness into my partner's lives, but that doesn't involve finding (or sharing) sex partners for them, or putting their desires ahead of my ability to feel good about myself and my actions.
edit: I wouldn't mind providing "references" for a partner as being awesome or good relationship material, but I would never do that if the person I was talking to did not realize I was dating them. I can't imagine how squicky I'd feel if somebody told me how great a person was and encouraged me to date them and I didn't know they were more than friends than after I got involved with him/her.