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Old 11-23-2009, 06:47 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Personally I highly doubt I will have another long distant relationship. I don't find that I want to spend my time with people I don't see, touch, smell (VERY important to me), regularly. I know a lot of Poly people are into the whole LDR thing, but I just don't get it. There are so many people right in my city, why would I want to spend energy on someone far away unless I don't want the level of depth that can be had with someone close, or I like to have a busy life doing other things, or I just can't find anyone else.

If that is the case for you then I can understand. It just wouldn't be for me... In my mind, why settle for "good" when I can achieve "great."

I guess I basically think that as a mono person this will drive you crazy. I imagine that you will think you will lose her to someone else? You very well could... at the very least you will lose her a little because she has something real and tangible at home. You would become the secondary perhaps. Yup, I would be scared and would be preparing my heart for some hard times.... regardless of what happens at Christmas time or whether or not she dates before you get there...

Actually I would almost wonder if her dating before you even get there would be a better idea... that way you would get there and meet the guy, really feel what it is like to be in a poly relationship and can hash out boundaries etc. while you are in the thick of the feelings rather than brainstorming on what could happen. I think it may be better to get right at it. You've been together a long time so why not! She should put her money where her mouth is and show you how committed she is and have fun doing it.
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