Originally Posted by dingedheart
Taking off 3 months at a crack could stress things. So much for having pets or plants for that matter.
Back in those days I was a student.
No pets, no plants, no responsibilities and 3 month long summer holidays. I always got a summer job that meant living away from home.
Was such a big part of my life that even now I still get the urge to take off every year when the spring comes - it's been 14 years since I started working in my proper, grown up, all year round job.
Was it a bad break up? Who started that process you or him or jointly?
As break ups go, it was good. Very amicable - we both knew things had to end. We're still on good terms although contact is very sporadic.
7 yrs seems like a loooong time to get back on the horse. Did you get any professional help during that time? If not, do you think there was a need for that?
No professional help and no need I could see. I was in no rush to start a new relationship. Too busy exploring new interests and making new friends. I did a couple of fairly full on courses. I met and befriended some amazing people. I found it fulfilling and quite luxurious to be able to do all of that stuff without the stress of worrying about whether or not I was also meeting the needs of a partner.
I discovered that the 10 years I was with my ex had put a stop to my enjoyment of casual sex. Luckily I also discovered that my needs to touch and be touched by other people (and animals) can be fulfilled in non-sexual ways. And that I am more than capable of having a great sex life all by myself.
This was a rather excellent discovery and did help I think.
Really very positive period in my life. One I only stopped because I think my SO is one of the most amazing people I've ever known and I feel very fortunate to have him in my life again.
It has been my experience repeatedly that people are very uncomfortable about the notion that anybody can be fulfilled in their life with close and not so close platonic friendships and exploring new interests. And the discomfort increases significantly if the single person is a woman in her child bearing years.
I have been asked before if I would consider counselling for my problem with relationships, had people suggest that my happiness with my life was a lie to cover up for the fact that I didn't have a man etc etc etc.
I think it's lovely that people are so concerned about my wellbeing and used to explain repeatedly about how I was absolutely fine and that if that ever changed, I'd let them know and they could help me find a man.
People are sweet generally and concerned that their loved ones be safe. Many people just feel that a radically different lifestyle from the norm is not safe - which is partly the source of my recent anxiety
Anyway - off out to meet a friend. Hugs to you all.