Some interesting days just passed us and I found some new things to mention on here.
My aunt and my mothers' birthdays are right after the other. Therefore we spend Monday evening with my aunt and the majority of our relatives and went out for dinner on Tuesday with my mother and our nuclear family here. And I realized that something was bugging me. I was kind of looking forward to those events and at the same time, not so much. I started to look into the problem and I found the root of my uneasiness.
Lin wouldn't be part of it. I was really happy when my sister, who is going to marry her long time partner in April, invited Lin to be there when the family will meet for dinner after the ceremony. It felt good to have him included even though nothing is official right now. But obviously I couldn't drag him along to meet my relatives at the party of my aunt. And as my aunt is going through some hard times right now (death of her husband last year, a possible divorce of her son right now) I expected the evening to be tense and filled with broody and unpleasant talks. The same with the birthday of my mother, she invited 'the family' for dinner and this didn't include Lin as well. I was kind of unhappy with that.
As things turned out, I expected too much negativity to come our way. On Monday the mood was quite light, despite the tensed relationship of my cousin and his wife (they came together even) and my aunt was just mainly stressed by all the preparations and such. What surprised me a bit was my mother. When sitting next to her and talking to some of my distant relatives about some trifles, she suddenly glanced at me and asked: “By the way, I thought about it, did I make a faux pas by not inviting Lin to my birthday dinner tomorrow? I mean how much is he part of the family … kind of...?” There she paused and I as well. How should I have answered?
I decided that this wasn't the right place to discuss our relationship further and replied jokingly: “Ah well, you see, we didn't officially adopt him yet, you didn't make a fault, we still need to get the papers to wrap things up properly.” This adoption thing was first brought up by my mother, who likes to refer to Lin as 'Sward's and my little one', some kind of child we picked up and moved in. She smiled as well and replied: “Well, ok, if things are like that, I will invite him next year.” I smiled and nodded, as well as Sward who was sitting next to me.
Sward later told me that she seemed to have expected some kind of answer there and I think I agree. She was clearly asking for the 'status' of our relationship. Maybe I should soon talk to herabout it. During dinner on Tuesday, my soon to be brother in law was showered by the waitress with a glass of white wine and my mother instantly laughed and told me to tell Lin that if he had been there, he would have been the one to get wet, as he is the 'newest one' to the family. I cannot deny that all that makes me smile and a bit tingly with anticipation. How things will be received when we finally tell them?
*sigh* I am too impatient sometimes.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.
Last edited by Phy; 02-29-2012 at 07:20 AM.