Originally Posted by yami08
I never expected the casualness of our relationship to blossom into this. There are times when I have thought about what it would be like to be her Primary, living with her and so on. It's not that I'm sitting here fantasizing about this..but it has crossed my mind on a few occasions..just like it probably has crossed hers. I admit that I could probably be very happy with this women for the rest of my life in a poly dynamic, but that also doesn't mean I can't be one of her best friends in a platonic relationship. It's a bridge I'll have to cross if/when it comes.
We had just spent an abnormal amount of time together. We went from seeing each other once or twice a week to everyday for a few weeks and I believe this is spurring all these questions I now need answers to.
And thanks again for all the responses.
Some thinking about switching the roles is good. Noodling and stewing is not. What I learned in my first poly experience is that people are together for a lot of different reasons and some of them aren't obvious. Thinking you know a couple's dynamic better than they do is bad, bad thing.
Also space is good and staying friends is good, too.
With her SO situation, the only thing I'd be sure to talk with her about is whether her SO is cool with everything. It is possible for things to rapidly get out of hand for everyone involved if the poly person is having an affair rather than adding a secondary to an existing situation.