Good lord, I can't believe no one has yet mentioned the rule that the wife must have access to all texts and emails between them. That just creeps me out, everyone deserves the chance to communicate with a loved one without being monitored.
A year is a long time. I agree with others who have said this is between you and him, not you and her. That means you need to ask him for what you need from him, and if he can't give it to you by negotiating a change in the rules with his wife, then, yes, you probably need to move on or at LEAST see other people and downgrade the importance of this particular relationship in your life.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.