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Old 02-29-2012, 12:09 AM
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trescool trescool is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ontario, Canada
Posts: 59

I suggested that I spend some time with him and his friend to get to know her more and "to figure out this whole physical intimacy thing she has for you", but I warned that if she were to physically hang off of his arm, rub his shoulder, and dote over him while the three of us are spending time together, I would want to inform her of my discomfort.
Good for you! It's not always easy to do that.

Regarding her being poly or understanding it, I'm guessing that she's most definitely not, being a very 'traditional' sort of woman. I completely believe that my partner sees their friendship as being a close, loving friendship, but I (and a number of other people, including our other partner) see her as being in love with him romantically.
Maybe the whole traditional thing makes it so much harder for her to admit she could be poly! And yeah, it definitely sounds like she has feelings for him. She might not even be able to admit that consciously. She probably feels very happy with him, comfortable, and she's even getting the social affirmation of being seen as his partner in public. That probably feels really good to her... it's hard to know how much she's questioned it. Especially if she's super traditional, it might be a huge source of strength and support for her, especially if she's single to have something so similar to a romantic relationship, but without the risks... wouldn't surprise me at all if she were gay or poly underneath it all.

It's certainly happened to me in the past where EMOTIONALLY things were poly even though physically I didn't have sex with the couple I was involved with.
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