Originally Posted by maca
To me lack of honesty could be cause to think your SO isnt being in a fidelity relationship with you.
THAT is exactly the conclusion I'm coming to. It's about honesty and about honoring the commitments you have. But I think in a bigger, deeper way it's about honoring your own limitations (which is where my screw ups began).
We (as people who want partners in ANY relationship dynamic) need to get to know OURSELVES well enough to know what we CAN and CANNOT commit to-and uphold.
I committed to things I thought I believed in-but I hadn't really delved deeply into WHY I thought I believed in them. Then as life shit on me and in order to take care of my own truest, deepest needs, I failed my commitments.
If we want to be CAPABLE of true fidelity-we MUST do our homework first. We MUST learn about ourselves, our needs, our wants, our abilities, or limitations. Otherwise we risk over-commiting ourselves and in doing so-raise the probability that we will break our commitments and that makes us incapable of fidelity.