Good points from Rfrom RMC.
I also want to ask, how long have you been seeing these dudes? It's a good idea to hold off on moving in until at least a year has past, especially since you have these concerns about his barely cracked closet door, and apparent need for a "beard."
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37