Originally Posted by Ceoli
Yep. While recognizing that not all triads and V's are built on a dynamic of equity, I think there are many many couples that claim to seek this. The trouble is they almost never realize that they still consider that third person disposable for the sake of saving the primary relationship. That relationship tends to always take priority over the needs of the third. If that's what it is, then fine. But stop claiming to want or have an equal partner in that case, cuz that just ain't what it is.
It sounds like you've transcended that barrier gracefully.
Thank you Ceoli. I take that compliment (last sentence) with a HUGE heart coming from you.
I wonder if the length of my relationships with both men prior to "going poly" has anything to do with my feelings. I can't KNOW if I would feel differently if I hadn't had them here so long. But I THINK I wouldn't.
I find myself a little (smaller little each day) worried that Maca won't reach that point as "smoothly". But then things happen, like this weekend. He knew I was "on edge" with the drama with my Godchildren. He had his first "date" and asked GG to please be there with me/for me EVEN IF I SAID I DIDN'T NEED HIM TO BE. That really suprised me. In the past he would rather I be alone and miserable then ask GG to be with me FOR ANYTHING.
But he's finding himself finally. His TRUE self and God-he's amazing Ceoli!! I can't believe what he's learned and so quickly. And the things he's learning are truly changing the way he deals with the world, our family, GG and his whole life!
I remember when you wrote started that thread, it caught my heart and brought tears to my eyes contemplating how... cold. That's the word, it seemed to elaborate on how COLD people can be. I thought, "I don't want to be that cold to ANYONE in my life, but certainly not one of the precious people I am already deeply, madly in love with."
And I'm SO glad I read that post at the BEGINNING of these changes, it's helped me be so much more consciously aware of the possible problems, which has helped me to navigate more carefully around them!
So thank you and thank you again!!!