Originally Posted by SeventhCrow
Oof! That's a rough one. My last paramour was long-distance, though only a four-hour drive away, so I could visit with reasonable frequency. That's not quite the same situation as living in a different country.
As for having the discussion about her dating someone else, well, I don't see any compelling reason to delay having that. You can discuss it on the phone just as well as in person.
Of course, if she begins to date him in between now and your visit, she'll likely be in the throes of NRE when you get there and your visit could feel just odd because of it. So it could be a good idea to ask her to wait.
I prefer to have all potential partners meet Curly before any serious dating begins. Were we living far apart, I don't think I'd insist on that sort of thing as it'd be really impractical. Hmm. That sort of distance seems to involve quite a bit that I'm not conversant with, so I'm not certain I can help much.
Ditto the last sentence. I personally prefer that I meet any prospective new partners prior to them "coming into the fold" so to speak and I would insist that any of MY prospectives meet BOTH my men prior to me bringing them in...
But we all live together-so that's not a huge complicated undertaking. I'm not sure what the best advice is in a situation with such a huge distance!
I would honestly talk about it regardless-there may need to be MULTIPLE... no, there WILL need to be multiple discussions in order to iron out technicalities. Technicalities come up when things change even if it's NOT a "new partner" change. But they DEFINATELY come up with new partners. So start talking. The more you talk, the more you will find to talk about! And that will lead to having things MORE clarified when you get to "decision" making.
I wouldn't JUMP into "yeah go get a boyfriend". I would work towards that. But that's ME.
Good luck!! I hope you get more helpful replies!!