I can totally relate to all of this. My wife was pushing me away and even told me she was unhappy at one point. I have always been the one to bring up being poly. She told me she needed it and she now has someone I refer to as a boyfriend even though I don't think she sees him that way "yet". It takes patience and understanding and honesty. I've been on one date since we decided to do this and I could tell it affected her but we talked and she is good with it. This all started not too terribly long ago for us so if you ever need someone to talk to I would be more than happy to chat!
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith
Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old