Thank you all so much for your input. Honestly I have no clue how it moved so quickly so fast because that is so against my nature. She lived over 3 hours away from us. So it was very difficult ( and expensive with gas money). to pack all 3 kiddos up, drive down, pick her up,a nd bring her home....12 hours of driving a week because of her wqork schedual. She had gotten done at her job at christmas time and said that when she found a job here she would move in. And low and behold, 1 week later she had 3 job offers. We had to buy another vehicle in order to support a 2 incoms household ( since I am a stay at hom mom, hubby just took our vehicle to work).
The ring was sort of rushed....but hear me out. Her family is extermley religious. her father is a pastor, and as u can guess was not happy with her about her sexuality. they disowned her, and she stopped contact. they hired private investigators to figure out where we lived. her parents came to our house and started fighting with her and told her what big mistakes she was making. her mother ripped off her ring that her grandmother had given her and she was very destraght about that. now they have moved many states away so im happy I wont be seeing them again. we were buying the ring when this happened, we had originally aggreed on julyish to give her the ring. But hubby gave it to her when we came home because of how upset she was because of her parents.
i will add that we are all fairly young, ( 24), but very independant. I have 3 young children, and plan on having at least 2 more. I am completley okay with them having children, but not yet! It has only been 3 months. I want to date, get to know one another on a deeper level. You know. I am not a jealous person until the baby topic comes up. Then hubby and I fight. Where we are a triad, I consider my gf in every decision, even if it has my husband and i's name on it ( like our new vehicle), we each contribute. I stay at home with the children, rnu the household, bills, budget, work the farm, household remodel projects, and etc. My gf helps with household chores and works a parttime job to bring in income. My husband works full time and deals with the more "manly" things such as our vehicle maintenence, home improvement, and of course dishes 9 who likes doing dishes?) haha. Anyways, I like where our dynamic is going, our time runs more smoothly vs just hubby and I and we have more time together since someone is always doing something the list gts done faster. Although worrying about another is added stress, life runs more smoothly and I am much happier with her around.
Except with the baby topic. My husband is a great father, and my girlfriend will make a great mother. My concern is timing, we have only been togethter so long. Now that shes here, I want to enjoy her, work out the little logistics. I enjoy doing things with her that my husband and I cant ( like cuddle and watch criminal minds) - favorite show and my hsuband hates it lol.
My husband knows how I feel. And Because of my anxiety disorder I start having muscle spasms and twitching and get sick everytime he talks about it. I have waited a few weeks now, to see if my gf will come around and talk to me. She had a pregnancy scare 3 weeks after being together and was nervous saying she didnt want one right now, and was upset because of some of the things hubby had said about my feelings not mattering and how its not my child....but it is. I will be going through the pregnancy with her, supporting her, getting a job if she can no longer work, i will feel those kicks, make her food for her cravings, watch her ultrasounds and hold her hand, help her deliver, stay at home with the child and raise it when she goes back to work, her children will share half dna with my own children, and I will raise that child like a brother/sister to my own....how is that not my child. my gf diciplines my children, puts them to bed, makes them lunch, helps bathe them, they love her, they are like her children as well.
I dont want a heiarchy. I want us all to be equal members, a family unit.
Thank you all so much, though I havent been her but 24 hours I love the support and great people here!