Thanks redpepper (awesome/picture name by the way! Red pepper is by far my favorite spice! I put it on everything!) I did a search on swingers and read a few threads-- mostly what I've read is from people who are (in my opinion) are more swingers than poly but are clearly confusing the two terms. I would not identify as poly but saying I'm a "swinger" cheapens what I feel I want/need from a relationship I have with others. I guess I'm somewhere in between. In discussion with my husband last night I decided that it's not that I'm looking for something deeper but what bothers me about swinging is that the potential for feelings developing into something more is not even on the table.
I am in no rush to jump into anything. We discussed/researched opening up our relationship for 4 years before we actually did. I realize my posts sound naive and rambled, but I assure you, I plan to read/research/discuss much much more. I guess I worry I come across sounding like some of the other posters who've clearly confused swinging with poly. Or the poster who, when you read their comments about their relationship, you think to yourself "This person is in no position to even begin to consider this type of lifestyle."
I've found some poly meet ups in my area. We have talked about going to one, with the intention of meeting like minded individuals not looking for dates or matches. We both agree, that we are not even close to ready for involving other people at this point but we also both recognize the potential in this community. I could be wrong, but it just seems to me that relationships develop over time and the focus is not just the rush to get naked and bang it out! I'm sure it's different in every situation but it doesn't seem to me like taking the slower route is frowned upon in this community whatsoever.