Originally Posted by redpepper
I don't think one has to smother to love someone. I love plenty of people who don't even know it, let alone smother them. Its a mind set. The idea being to decide that loving her is to fulfill your need, not to create something in her life with her that is shown from the outside only. Its all inward stuff I am talking about. I hope that makes sense as its hard to explain....
I understand. I definitely have emotional needs that require fulfilling and for the most part, I believe she is aware. I definitely do not smother her. I only mention this because she has the tendency to pull back her emotions at times when she feels we are getting too close or that I have expressed too much. She seems to be doing this to ensure there is balance for her feelings between myself and her bf. These are not assumptions, she has admitted that this is why she has pulled back so I feel at times I need to be careful of how much I express to her.
It is against my nature to hold back in this way. I have never had to do this in any other relationship, but I also feel that there are times when you have to be strategic about how you handle certain relationship dynamics, especially during the NRE stage. My goal would be to build her perception of my value in this relationship, rather than her thinking I'm a dope who's fallen head over heals for her (which is exactly what has happened).