Wait, so one relationship made you miserable, therefore that structure is unworkable? What if you had one relationship that did not require you to change so much that you became depressed and miserable?
Just the question that occurred to me while reading.
I really appreciate this thread. I occasionally have moments that border on panic, when I imagine I'm ancient and feeble and have no one to care for me. I've never really chosen safety, in the relationship route. Which actually makes me laugh, because I've had lots of partners who were afraid to be involved with me because I'm 'stable.' Srsly, laughing. My current partners did not know me when I was beyond nutty. They look at my work history, and assume because I was at one institution for 13 years, that makes me 'stable.' They don't seem to hear me when I explain that 13 years represents 6 jobs, plus some considerable time in the temp pool. My current place is 10 years and six jobs (not including promotions in the same office ~ then it's 8). But in relationships and the whole traditional life thing? I've never gone that route. In high school, I'm fairly certain that I had way more sex than my peers (and no one knew it, because I was 'the best little girl in the world'). I spent my twenties in the lesbian community. I've never been properly engaged to be married, although I've had some entertaining fictions.
So yah, thanks!
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)