This sounds very frustrating. Are you sure that maybe a sexual partnership right now is the way to go for you? Maybe its just all too fast for you and you need to slow down and take your time.
Some guys just can't do it, even if the desire is there, because they are still subconsciously stuck in the way they were raised to believe that having a wife and fucking someone else is just not okay. Some get caught up in their NRE over poly and forget that their brains take some time to follow.
I have dated a couple of guys like this in my past. I have decided that if I come across someone like this again then I will patiently decide that its maybe best as a non-sexual relationship for awhile, or always.
I have had a non-sexual relationship. It was satisfying for both of us. We got our needs for sex met elsewhere and were okay with that for a time.
I wish I had an answer that would make the whole issue go away, but really, no one likely will. Its for you to figure out I think. I just hope you aren't perseverating too much or being hard on yourself. Its likely going to be fine with time.
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