I have a ton of red flags here that make me anxious about the stability of this situation.
- moving her in after you just met
- the secrecy and planning behind your back
- having a baby with someone you just met
- past trust issues that can be easily triggered
- having an anxiety disorder
- buying rings and committing after a couple of monthes
I suggest slowing down, I wouldn't of moved her in this fast and laying some boundaries out there that MAKE SENSE. Geesh, this thing will implode the way you are going as far as I can see. I haven't known one single triad that has worked the way you are all going about this and I have been here a good long time and poly for longer... have you done any researching here to see what others have gone through? Try a tag search for threads such as "triads" "triad" "cohabitation" "pace" "pacing" ?Hope you find something that gives you some ideas to go on.