Wow, nycindie, thanks for the thoughtful response. That's a moving story.
It's not a race, so don't pressure yourself to have a bunch of sex partners before you're really ready. Start with one, cultivate getting to know her, spend non-sexual times with her as well, and don't worry about your performance. When you're in bed together, think about connecting with her through sex rather than just the pleasure of the sensations
Look, I'm not pressuring myself to get my dick wet. The last time was incredibly enjoyable, and I do feel a palpable connection with this woman. I just focused on pleasing her, and I can do that a lot better without
my dick. Afterwards we had amazing snuggles.
I honestly have no problem with the situation other than the awkwardness of her sucking my limp dick. I really think I just need to have one success and then whatever barrier is in my brain will be gone forever.