Drop the hierarchy crap and just love her with as much energy and vigor as feels comfortable? Why do you have to put a cap on that just because she has another man in her life. I get all the best of my partners love right now because both are unpartnered with anyone else (hinge of a vee with the two men I live with). I also get the best of my married gf's love... its just different than what she gives to her husband.... ya, lose the hierarchy, it seems obvious to me you've outgrown it. Congrats, that would mean you are no longer a newbie
at least by my standard anyway.