Thank you for the respone! Swinging has not been all bad. I have met one man that has been allowed me to develop a relationship with him over several months with little pressure or expectations. After 6 months of chatting online, even though we lived minutes from each other, we finally met and had a fantastic time. We continue to talk, have yet to be really intimate but I can already feel him pulling back-- perhaps already onto his next conquest. Which is fine, I get how the swinging world works. But to say that doesn't sting a little would be a lie. Truth is, I do want to be special to him or anyone I'm intimate with.
I think that from chatting online, I'm used to these relationships developing over long periods of time, with zero expectations, that jumping into a world where intial meet and greets are loaded with expectations is very difficult for me.
I feel like I'd have better luck finding the type of relationships I'm looking for through a polyamory website (as opposed to say a swingers website) but I am not sure I would ever be able fully embrace the ideas of polyamory. On the other hand, I am not turned off to the idea of it turning into something more either for myself or my husand. Obviously, I realize it's a process. It's just such a foreign concept to me, loving someone as much as I love my husband (and vice versa) and that being okay.
I didn't know if some people on the board may have started where we are at now and it has progressed into something more.