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Old 02-26-2012, 03:53 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,235

Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post

... so you've been poly for about two years, eh? and haven't had a primary relationship that you work outwards from?
No, I live alone and practice what Tristan Taormino calls "solo poly." As I said, I have no desire for a primary partnership, and most of my take on that is in the Solo Poly Ideals thread I gave the link for earlier.
Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post must have some really awesome relationships with yer partner's SOs, eh?
Some of the guys I've been with were partnered, most were not. I'm pretty picky when it comes to dating someone who has a partner; I have turned down a few specifically because I could not reconcile myself with how the boundaries they had would have affected me.

I did have some nice email exchanges with the wife of one guy I was seeing, and I remember she told me in the beginning that she thought her husband and I should develop our relationship separately, "removed from the dynamic" (as she put it) of their relationship as a couple, and that once he and I had something solidly established, she would then like to get to know me. And she promised both honesty in relating to me, and to come to me with any concerns she might have had. I felt they took a very mature and reasonable approach (and they were fairly new to poly also). I ended my relationship with him for a few reasons (see my blog), but certainly I appreciated that my metamour and I were of like minds on things like that. They had very few rules, and the ones they did have did not conflict with my own personal boundaries.
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 02-26-2012 at 04:06 PM.
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