Thread: I'm delusional!
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Old 02-26-2012, 06:13 AM
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crushed crushed is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Twin Cities
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My issue is primarily that he lied to me. When I asked him numerous times - he lied. He said he was going with the "don't ask, don't tell" approach that I had said I preferred. Well, then I asked. My anger is the fact he was having unprotected sex with both her and I. I felt that she had a right to know, as I did. So that we could both make the decision if this was something we wanted to be a part of. The reason I expected monogamy from him, is that is what he had said he wanted from the beginning. I expected when that situation would change that he would discuss that with me. I have been and continue to go to counselling with a poly-marriage counselor. My husband has stopped going. My husband says he was ok with the bf, until I told my husband that I have now grown to love my bf. He was ok when he thought it was sexual only, though I had explained to both of them that I do not think I could have sex without love. I have ONLY had sex with these two men, because for me, love has to be a part of it.

The reason I would love him to be closer is that I don't feel 10 weeks is enough time to spend together and unfortunately can't afford to fly to see him more than that. My income is significantly higher than his and I can't ask him to help pay more than twice a year, as I do not want to strain him financially.

I'm not trying to be a jerk to either of them - that's why I've been 100% open and honest with them on what it is I want and have asked them to tell me the same. Why is it wrong for me to want to be part of a Vee? I have proposed polyandry, as I feel committed to both of them.
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