Originally Posted by Ceoli
I like those two points as well, except for the fact that the first point looks at it from the stand point of someone partnered in a primary relationship. There are other models of poly that don't use the primary/secondary model and there are lots of poly people who are not in primary relationships so this wouldn't apply to them (or me at the moment). I would rephrase it to say that love growing in one relationship does not take from the love in another relationship.
That fits much better to me. I have no ability to say that I BELIEVE that Maca is my primary AND that GreenGecko is my secondary.
Like Mono-GG CHOOSES to identify himself as my secondary in some of his actions and when discussing the situation (he doesn't use these words ever) with certain people who are "in the know".
But for ME-they are both quite definitely my primaries. They have equal responsibility to me (in my eyes) and to our family. They both support the household with their incomes, they both participate in planning and organizing finances, care of the children, upkeep of our home etc.
So I can more easily identify with the
"love growing in one relationship does not take from the love in another relationship."