Originally Posted by Wants2BEqual
Pretty close assessment except I was and never have been jealous of her.
And I'm not sure she ever had much NRE for me..but we have been friends.
I think once it went past "light and fun" (which was pretty quickly), she came along because she didnt want to lose him.
And it was him who lost his job and moved away not her (to take new job), she is still in the family home. She wants to quit her job and move to where he is now (and sell or rent their home)
Its pretty clear she is accomodating to the point where she'll compromise in order to keep her relationship with him. Me backing off 6 or 8 months I dont think will ever change that. She is accepting and accomodating. But she has resentments to work through. The question is how do we move forward with respect, peace, calm and how do I ensure I feel equal.
He wants us all to meet in non drama way just to feel new chemistry (how does it feel, how do we act, whats the air in the room)....
what do you think now?
I think several things. If she wants to move back in with him, good. They are married. Married people usually live together.
To be quite honest, if she is emotionally fragile, even ill, over this, in your shoes I would back off for a while. If you care about her health, if this is what she is requesting or begging for, I'd take the high road and give her time to heal.
As for your first question on the thread: if you live far from your bf, I don't see how you can ever be anything approaching the status of a co-primary, unless you live quite near him. How far apart are you now? Have you discussed moving closer once he and the wife re-establish some kind of normalcy (if they can!)?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (42, M) since Oct 2015 (he has recently downgraded us to friends)
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years