thanks phy - means a lot to hear that it's about everyone having the right to their own experience, i was having problems hearing that in your last post, obvs. oh subjective experience, LOL!
"I just suggested that you may want to evaluate why this resonates so well with you and what you could imagine for yourself and why things didn't work out before."
oh yah, this is what it's all about for us right now - finding the way that works best for elemental and i.
i think it resonated with me so strongly because they have so much experience, and have beliefs firmly entrenched in reality, instead of my most recent reality/relationship that was SO firmly based in ideals and NRE. It also resonates with me that they're from people who are maintaining balance in a primary relationship while both having other successful, loving partnerships.
while we're not sure that all of their agreements would transfer well into our relationship, they do make a lot of sense on the whole. i could def. do some dissecting of my own, but that's coming from an idealist still at this point LOL.
it kinda reminds me of how when i was younger, i thought my parents were spun, and that i was figuring out the world on my own the right way. as i grow older, i realize how much life experience and wisdom my parents have ALWAYS had to offer me, and that in my adolescence, i was naieve/silly enough to push away those gifts. Here i am, coming out of my first "real" triad, shakin' my head, and ready for some real "parental" advice. by parents, i mean people who have been 'round the proverbial block, have had a lot of experience, and can share that experience with me. that's gold right there - still free to take/leave their advice/wisdom as i like, and i don't have to latch on to everything they say, but having it there is pretty awesome.
i feel strongly this way when i read redpepper on this board. tried, tested, true, livin' out long term partnerships/realities - i really read her posts even MORE carefully now - there's a lot of wisdom there, and having that to draw on (whether I agree with everything she says or not) is pretty fuckin' amazing.
cheers to you phy - obvs to me that you are a happy poly person, and i'm glad you've got it goin' on over there! how long y'all been together?