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Old 02-25-2012, 07:05 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 648

Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post
Phy: As we grow/learn, our perspectives are certs gunna change, no doubt about it. naievity/ideals vs. realities, and some life lessons come hard.

so to be clear, you're sayin' that because it's different than what you'd do, that it's not poly? and you're saying that their partners have hardship and deserve respect for being with them for more than 18 months (about how long it takes to actually get to know someone, btw)? hooo boy! i bet my sis & her partner & their partners would have a good chuckle over both those ideas
Ah no, don't misunderstand me, I have a hard time because it is different, but as I said, variety is everywhere. It wouldn't be my poly, that's all and I would consider it as the thing nearly the farthest away from what I could imagine as loving freely, that's why I choose those words.

And I say that the possibilities are severely limited by their set of rules and that their primary relationship never gone through such a preset of rules like the secondary ones. And that I therefore respect the ones enduring those 'hardships' and still stay involved. And that I am curious about what they understand 'getting serious' means. Because I take that they have been kind of seriously involving theirselves in the early times of their primary relationship, haven't they? You don't really pursue a relationship if you are not serious as far as I am concerned.

Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post
you don't have to feel the empathy - they've already got that goin' on in their own lives. so you wouldn't date 'em, that's cool. lots of peeps are doing lots of different things in poly, figuring it out, working on their relationships - kudos to 'em all, i say!
Again, don't misunderstand, as I have already said, if it works, great. No, it would never work for me, but I don't have to date them, you are right. I just suggested that you may want to evaluate why this resonates so well with you and what you could imagine for yourself and why things didn't work out before. That's all, don't feel attacked, I would never questioned your approach to say that it will never work for you (How could I? I don't know you), I just stated my personal opinion on it. (Didn't we have this statement already in this thread?)
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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