View Single Post
Old 11-22-2009, 09:44 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by beatbox151 View Post
How many want to share how their rules have changed from the beginning?
I don't know that the rules have changed. We don't have many rules, to begin with, so there isn't much to change.

•Safe sex if not fluid bonded
•Our marriage is primary--any relationship that places undue strain on it will end (no tolerance for extreme drama)

Um, that's it. We share such preferences as an aversion to heavy drinkers and regular drug users, so we don't need rules about that. I prefer other partners to meet Curly prior to any serious dating, though that's not required; I suspect she expects the same of anybody she'd get involved with, though I've not asked (because I don't expect to meet them prior).

We have the expectations that we will still spend adequate time together for our relationship and so forth. There are no rules about how many nights we have to be home or anything like that.

I think the driving principle could be stated as "Nurture the relationship" and our behavior serves that. If I'm nurturing the relationship, I'm making certain I spend enough time with her, that I'm paying her enough attention, that we're engaged in growing our marriage, and she's getting what she needs from me. As long as that's happening, everything else is pretty much OK.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote