Originally Posted by Legion
Maybe I shoud start to take the initiative and say "I don't think we're compatible."
Based on what you've reported, I would have been out of the relationship with Nyx in short order. The freak out over going to coffee would have been the end of it, certainly; that would clearly illustrate incompatibility and that the whole thing isn't going to work. You're each better off finding folks who are compatible.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.