Originally Posted by ultradeluxe
Thanks to all of you - it's opened up my eyes a little more to the situation (my GOD it's so easy to be blinded by love, yes??), saw my therapist this morning and feel a little less angsty about it.
I actually would like to speak with this girl. I know who she is, where she works - what's odd is that had I not known this, which he told me, I would have felt more of a sense of disconnect to her. Not sure if that's good or bad. Do I need his "permission" to speak with her?
And SourGirl - I can't tell you how enlightening the phrase "human lego" is to me. I hadn't thought of it in that way. So thank you very, very much.
You are welcome. We have all been there, remember that.
You are not a fool for wanting to believe the best in someone. Never do it at one`s own expense, though.
If we can help each other through the 'blinded by bad love' periods,..then,..yay !
Honestly, you don`t need permission to speak to her. BUT if I were you, I would ask his permission to see his reaction. If he said no, I`d know I was done with him, but I was going to talk to her anyhow. Make sure I gave myself full reason to end the relationship, so I wasn`t haunted by what-if`s later on. Then I actually would talk to her . I am a big fan, of letting people hang themselves with their own rope.
I know it`s easy from the outside, to tell people to end a relationship, but logically, for the time you have invested, and what true-colours have 'escaped' already,......I think you can take the love you found and things you enjoyed, and look for someone even more compatible. The world is not running out of good people to love.
Edit to add : In the event he says 'Sure, go ahead and talk to her !' and she does, and you feel better for it,....Then there needs to be some type of discussion all three of you can have, and clear some air on boundaries, expectations, and acceptability. The forum is full of advice on those things. Good Luck !