I know itís a boundary for you, Lover, to never say the words. After all you call yourself my "Sextoy" and leave it at that. I get nervous sometimes that maybe you don't feel the way I do. I know that I don't show it much for fear of you pushing me away. But then you sneak in that kiss, as I hold you firmly in my arms. That longing that desire. You say the words with your lips against mine. We may never say the words to one another. Maybe we don't have to.
Would they really transcend the way you touch me. Could they out do your back rubs, your foreplay? Could they really make a fluid bonded couple with intertwined hands, legs, hips, and mouths any closer? I don't think so.
I thought I heard you whisper it last night. While we were wrapped in one another. I know for a fact that I felt it in every touch, every laugh, and every smile. I know it is what brought you back to me as I lay in bed this morning. I savored it in our goodbye kiss.
Then it is time for me to close the door, to face the cold, the world. With the shutting of the door I turn from the spoiled protected female into the strong male mothering role.
Time is fleeting. Here I am again. Pulled back to life as I carry sleepy kids to bed. It isn't a gloomy thing for me to leave. I do miss our fun conversations, and our time alone. I cherish my home, my personal space. I love my children's laughter, and being there to wipe tears. I love my beautiful Jewell, and my wonderful Lover. My life is full of ups and downs. I don't like having to say goodbye to Lover knowing how alone he is. I don't like the howls of a teething baby. I do miss it when I am not around. I love all five people in my family. That includes me.
How can one love another without first loving themselves?
I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.