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Old 02-23-2012, 05:54 PM
AnotherConfused AnotherConfused is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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I don't know if my situation is at all similar, but I have a mono husband who has gradually become more comfortable with my polyamory. He explicitly asked that we don't have discussions with my other loves about our relationships. He only wants casual interactions in group social situations where he isn't forced to think about my involvement with them. (He doesn't want to have any social interactions with the one I'm physically intimate with.) I guess if I were you I would keep the conversations light unless it seemed like they were both comfortable talking about relationship stuff.

I'd also go easy on expressing affection to one in front of the other. I have a primary/secondary situation and it sounds like you have two primaries so I don't know how you might do this, but my secondaries understand that in my husband's presence I am not going to give them the same attention I do otherwise. We discuss it in advance so they don't feel slighted (and so I don't feel slighted when they keep a little distance from me). But maybe your men will feel happy seeing you loved by another, and jealousy won't figure in.

Hope it goes swimmingly!
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