Just going to try to offer a little insight into where you are at at this moment.
The hope in polyamory is to be able to nurture strong, meaningful, trusting relationships. Without going into a big, long lecture about "communication", I want to emphasize it.
I think, from our experience, that you are downplaying the need for more good communication. It's not about "control". If two (or more) people care deeply about each other, and are acutely aware of all the fears we naturally inherit, you soon reach the point of understanding that communication is the water on the fire of fear. To say again - it's NOT about "control" i.e. whether there is some damand or explanation of your every move, it's about realizing that our every move has the POTENTIAL to impact those we care about.
That make any sense ?
If we do choose to acknowledge that as a fact (?), AND we do truly care and love the people in question, then it just behooves us all to try to share as much about our day as is practical - given time constraints etc.
Think of it this way.............
If you were out sailing some day and had a beautiful school of dolphins accompany you most of the day - wouldn't you want to share that with the people you care about ? Why is a connection with a person any different ? Share the experience - and let the conversation flow where it will. That's how bonds form
Also - and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I think you are at a particular point in your life where "freedom" is extremely important. It's a rite of passage - especially for males it seems. Your writing exhibits it, your footer you chose for your posts emphasizes it.
Freedom is a wonderful thing, but with it comes the burden of "responsibility"
Ya think ?