Just an update....Things are wonderful with J. I have finally been able to let go of the idea of H being my primary and allowed my self to accept J as my main relationship. It is more than I could hope for. I didn't know I could ever feel like this.
I still 100% love H but it is all different now. I don't feel the need to know what is going on in their relationship nor do I care. It is not my relationship. All I know and care about is that my relationship with J is amazing. I also know that eventually H and I will work things out because we love each other.