Originally Posted by dingedheart
What exactly is spiritual sex? And why would any loving married partner resist such a thing ...sounds delightful. Are you saying she doesn't like sex?...just can't wait til you climb off or finish.
If your wife is mono and adamantly against poly wouldn't be easier to explore spiritual sex with her, (teacher her that) than all the coping skills, fights, heartache, she will need to adjust to you having spiritual or any other kind of sex with other partners?
Spiritual sex is...well...spiritual. It is more than just orgasm. It is a connection and buildup and infusing of energy with your partner. It is becoming one psychically as well as physically. I have only experienced it a few times and quite by accident (the stars were aligned I guess), but when I have, it is a different experience. It is another plane of sex altogether. I am also a yogi and know about the seven chakras. When serpent energy goes from your base chakra up through your spine to the final chakra at the crown of your head, it is a feeling of spiritual bliss and oneness. Spiritual sex, tantra, or sex magick (if the terms are synonymous) is like that. I am sure there are differences between the traditions (and I am slowly learning about them), but this is what I want to explore with her or any partner.
Yes it does sound delightful doesn't it?! And yet, my wife has no interest in exploring such a thing. I have tried to get her interested several times, but to no avail. You would think that a woman would be interested in having this sort of relationship with her partner, but she is not. It isn't something important to her. And this is one of the problems I have in the marriage: if I want to explore, I have to do it by myself. This is not the only area of mismatch with us; there are several others. So in the end, I can't share my deepest self - physically, psychically, or socially. And THAT, is what I long for more than anything. Is there anyone on this forum that wouldn't want that too?
I have often thought that it is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all our needs throughout life. That is one reason why Polyamory - aside from what seems like a natural fit for me - would allow all partners to have their needs met. But she is not interested in poly; either for me or for her. I am more than willing to let her have a poly relationship too to have her needs met that I can't fulfill. I am sure it is just as frustrating for her. Yet, she does fulfill some of my needs. But as time goes on, the more apart and diverse we seem to become.
Am I being unrealistic or selfish about me desires?