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Old 02-21-2012, 05:55 PM
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LadyNiah8504 LadyNiah8504 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 25
Default This blog thing takes some getting used to

I have 2 blogs on another site, but I have difficulty remembering to post on them. Mostly this is related to my depression. Once I get in control of things again, I intend to post more often.

I really do love my husband and fully understand his need of being polyamorus. I understand it down to the primal level. It's biologically natural for our species to want and need to mate with others.

I just have difficulty putting this into practice. I am very possessive and jealous, so this is a hard thing to deal with.

Adding mental illness to the mixture is not good. However, this is the first time that I have been actively seeking help. I was diagnosed with depression at 14, and have been on several different meds to try and help. Nothing really did in the end, I would always get worse. And then about a year and 1/2 ago I was also diagnosed with anxiety disorder (apparently I have had this my whole life and thought it was normal) , but dealing with all of this isn't easy.

Now there are other contributing factors as to why my mental health has decreased. The major thing being my mother. My mother is a severe alcoholic and drug addict. She has had 3 heart attacks in 10 years, and has no intention of stopping. I worry about my mother constantly. Every day I wake up hoping that she hasn't died during the night due to having an overdose.

I know that this site is for polyamory, I am trying to get as much information as possible on this subject. I want to know more about how this can progress in a positive way as well as the negative.

It all boils down to being a nerd, having a very curious mind (it's annoying sometimes, to want all the answers to my questions), and I don't want to be ignorant.

So to those who have read this, I do apologize for kinda going on a mental health tangent, but that is just how my mind works. I am really looking for facts and experiences here. That way I know I have information on every avenue possible to myself and my husband and this adventure/journey that we have begun to travel on.
Niah/me: 26 Bi female, married to Kail: 26 Bi male, Thing 1: our oldest child, Thing 2: the trouble maker, Thing 3: the baby/bun in the oven

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others can not keep it from themselves"

James Barrie
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