I am on new meds as well as recieving help. I have group therapy now twice a week, I will see my counselor once a week, and along with seeing a psychiatrist and my primary doctor once a month. And thank you for your advice and input. It helps me have some clairity in the situation.
As far as the actual relationship between my husband and I has greatly improved after we got back together. We are completely honest with each other on how we feel about everything. We both have discussed getting "couples therapy", we've just had alot of schedule issues.
Since I have gone back to college (I did have to withdrawl this semester due to the mental breakdown) it's been more challenging. I know that this is basically an excuse, but it really is the truth. There hasn't been anything discussed like that since before I went into the hospital.
But there have been improvements in other areas, like before I had trouble showing him how I really felt. We would go days without even hugging, but I somehow thought everything was still ok. I know what happened there and have been working on it.
And I have explained to him exactly how I feel, he is just frustrated with me. I can understand why, simply because when the new year started I gave the green light on opening up ( I thought I was ok with it) but when he went out with some friends from work, that's when it started to hit me. I was/am terrified of losing him again.
I know that sounds so silly and childish, but I have been in love with him since I was 16. (Ok I just realized I did my math wrong, we've known each other for 11 years, not 12. Math is not my strong point) He was there as a friend while I was in an abusive relationship, and he has been helping me try to put myself back together ever since.
Sorry again for such a long reply, I just prefer to lay the facts out correctly. This is just because I am a terrible liar.
Niah/me: 26 Bi female, married to Kail: 26 Bi male, Thing 1: our oldest child, Thing 2: the trouble maker, Thing 3: the baby/bun in the oven
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others can not keep it from themselves"