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Old 02-21-2012, 09:49 AM
ablexi ablexi is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2

I'm fucking new to this myself and I posted previously asking for advice that hellped tremendously, even though I have been...well absorbed in contemplation too much so. I intend to return to my thread and open up discussion concerning my own foreay into poly, but first this is the first thread I've read returning and I wanted to see if I could perhaps help as well, from the perspective of someone who is also working to dull the double edged emotion of jealousy.

First, I'm going to give this website from a poly person whose perspective on jealousy along with the words of many from this site, helped me grapple with what it means:

On jealousy:

On poly:

As he explains and others here have, jealousy is a subset of fear. Fear loss. Fear of being unloved. Fear protects us, but fear(a component of jealousy) has a tendency to trump our ability to think, we see green as in the red of anger; anger, jealousy, fear are all very ego-centric emotions that make us look at our selves as the most important thing there is as it drives us with the impulses of those emotions to seek the most expedient means towards removing the outside cause or making the outside cause bend to our will.

If you read those three articles, anything I can say will be said far better than I can recount them.

Given that, your emotions are only yours, nobody elses. Nobody can make you angry, jealousy, or scared except for yourself by letting yourself feel that way. Nobody can make you happy before you make yourself happy. Nobody can take the knowledge that your loved away from you, especially if you love yourself first as few are willing to love someone who doesn't own their own love.

I hope you read those and maybe hit the search bar on the left side of the webpage and type in jealousy and read all the stuff he mentions. He's very insightful and his idea's aid in looking at the world with a new perspective, at least long enough to get a grasp on what your feeling by looking in from the outside.
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