Obviously it isn't just YOU who has created the disconnect between husband and wife. Yes it sounds like she's in a difficult job/living situation, but YOU did not create that situation. That situation was going to happen regardless of your role in their lives. The stresses may have be intensified with you entering their lives, but part of her "Fragile" state is caused by a choice SHE made...or perhaps THEY made....to accept employment and move away from her husband. (I'm not saying the choice wasn't necessary, but I question how much ownership on the wife's behalf is going on here.)
So you and he are expected to put your relationship on hold because her life hasn't gone the way they expected or hoped?? Does this mean that anytime a partner has something difficult in their life, they can request that the other partners back off on their relationship??? It sounds to me that she has some decisions to make about whether or not to keep her current job and live apart from her husband. This is a decision that COULD be made regardless of whether or not her husband and you have a relationship. Perhaps instead of wanting the two of you to back off with each other, she should decide what she wants to do with her job/living situation....do it...and then talk about what next.
Since your guy sees her as "fragile" or "ill", however, it may be in your best interest to chose to back away for awhile...for your own sanity.... until HE can be clear about what he truly wants and whether or not he's willing to make some difficult choices.
Last edited by dragonflysky; 02-21-2012 at 06:22 AM.