GoddessKiss - congratulations!
My hubs and bf were friends for a few years before I was introduced to Dude. My attraction to Dude (and his for me) caused a period of major drama but led us to were we are today (mistakes and all).
Hearing Dude and MrS laughing and talking after I go to bed is one of the most comforting things to me in respect to the ability of the three of us to "go forward" in our configuration.
I feel I am the "luckiest girl in the world" when I have two boys that care for me and are so considerate of each other.
Advice? a.) Issues will come up between A&B, B&C, A&C, A&B&C - let each relationship (intimate or otherwise) address their own issues. Don't let the 3rd person always be the "go between." I was mad at Dude so I turned to MrS for comfort - MrS offers love and support and then tells me to talk to Dude about "X." He doesn't need to get mad at Dude himself in order to validate my feelings. (Obviously if Dude had broken a major trust between the three of us that would be different - I am talking about routine arguments.) b.) Relationships move at their own pace and resolutions to problems may be relationship-specific - what worked for me and MrS may not work for me and Dude because MrS and Dude are different people with different perspectives. c.) As the hinge in this relationship you may feel it is your responsibility to keep everyone happy all of the time - you can't. People will sometimes be unhappy - let them. (Comfort them, care for them, and let them work through their pain - remember that they love you.)
My advise may not be worth anything (being only 9-10 months into our personal configuration) - so take it with a grain of salt.
(Disclaimer: The three of us live together so we have roommate issues as well as partner issues and friend issues.)
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 02-21-2012 at 02:10 AM.