Where do I start?
I have been married for 5 years, and about 2 years ago my husband and I started talking about having an open marriage. At first I did like the idea of it, but when everything started going on, I became this jealous, crazy, psycho-bitch. That is not a lie. Because of how I was handling everything, it actually did break our marriage for about 1 year. We were planning on getting divorced until about 1 year ago. Around that time, I decided to try and have sex with no emotions attached, just pure animal instinct basically. It did work for a time, but I still felt empty inside. When my husband and I got back together, I told him everything about what I had done. I understood how one could have sex without love. After much consideration and negotiating we decided to give the open marriage another shot. Apparently my husband already has someone lined up, and the idea makes me sick to my stomach. I am incapable from being with anyone else right now due to severe mental health issues. I just don't know what to do. I know he needs this, as I need it, but right now I can't handle it.