I would tend to agree with the other posts about really considering whether this situation will work for you. I'm looking at this from the perspective of the mono husband whose wife wants to be poly and he's trying to adjust. Just about all the resources about opening up a marriage advise taking things VERY SLOWLY. Which may be great long-term but is apt to be very frustrating for the new relationship. Not the mention the possibility that the husband may freak out and just veto the whole thing. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the new relationship when the couple is not only opening up to them but to the idea of non-monogamy. (Keep in mind, the husband is likely not completely happy either, as he's having to compromise and adjust to a "new" marriage, one he may not have been expecting.)
Have you tried meeting with the husband and wife together to discuss things? That might be a good next step. Might help husband see you as less of a threat. Also, if he balks at meeting, I would think he's not ready for this and you might want to steer clear.
Last edited by Icewraithonyx; 02-20-2012 at 08:00 PM.