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Old 02-20-2012, 06:08 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,716

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I always find the distress brought on by the term primary or secondary confusing. I also always say the same thing; not all relationships have the same impact on a persons life. In fact there is lamost always one that has more. That is the primary or central relationship in my opinion."
There seems to be a lot of insecurity in being bothered by these terms. And that's coming from the mono guy who, in a poly environment, is riddled with apparent "insecuritues".
you are not a secondary Mono... I treat all of you the same regardless of what you say... maybe that is why you feel no pain when it comes to being a secondary, because its in your eyes only. I could start treating you as less important, totally expendable and not worthy of boundaries and having your needs met. Then I would suggest you would see the difference.

I sound pissy, not meaning to sound so to you Mono, just having a hard time tonight and kind of frustrated with that.

I don't even have a central partner really. Other than myself. We operate as a team, all of us. There are some peripheral loves, but they are not secondary to me. Some of them aren't even partners. I just love them and they love me. No need to clarify the rest really.
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