Thread: Thoughts
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Old 11-21-2009, 10:26 PM
Nyx Nyx is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: north america
Posts: 53
Default Thoughts

This was a response to an email Mono sent me and I thought I would share my response here just to...well, share!

"either way...yes i have not been on too much, though i do pop on and check on everyone occasionally. I have found that since Legion has been on it has felt like my posts are public arguments between he and I and so I have taken a step back. I have been exploring a few new love interests on my own and talking with them about relationships, etc. and I have been amazed at how closed off I really was in the past.

Being with Legion was painful, confusing, etc. but it has been very beneficial as well because I am broadening my understanding of myself and others. I have for a long time gone through the same patterns of relationships, pretty much the same situations over and over again have I played out over the years. I am glad to say that I realize I have a choice and no longer have to conform to those false notions anymore.

I am thankful for you and Redpepper as well because I have really followed your situation and though at first I started to idealize your relationship, I have learned more about you guys and respect that there are no perfect relationships and what appears to be perfect at first glance certainly isn't so. With imperfection, you guys have achieved a balance that makes sense to you. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. And that is something I think about every day. Getting others' opinions first, then forming my own has been a mistake I have made for a long time. And I think I have ignored my own initial opinions too much!

I feel freer having been involved with poly this last year. Although I fought understanding at first because it was sooo unfamiliar - I was fearful that I would lose myself. But I have worked through it quite a bit and making my own decisions and values based on what I have learned."
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