Double dose of reality today, our triad is over AND my personal relationship with our GF is untenable for BP, so that needs to be over as well. We have lost the dream of the poly-fi triad and I have lost a friend and a lover. It seems BP wants a total break, no communication whatsoever. What choice do I have? Our relationship hangs in the balance. BP wants me to come to these decisions on my own, to naturally defend our relationship at all costs, wants for primary to MEAN something. We have had so much fighting, so much processing over this, I am numb. I tell her just tell me what you want; what do I need to do to start us on a healing path. I reflective listen, use non violent communication, try to not defend my position, my perspective. I am such a fiery person, BP use to be attracted to that, now I am not so sure. We work so hard at this, when did so much become so little, when did too little become too much? My best intentions are such a fucking wreck right now. This has become stream of consciousness bullshit.
Iím not going to respond to this thread anymore, let it fade off into the back pages of this forum. Thanks to everyone who read and responded with kind and not so kind words, Iím good with that, I benefit from a little butt kicking when I deserve it. I really found the input helpful, the links stories and suggestions. I value every ones perspective. I will stay active, read, post when I can, add my 2cents when and where I think it would help. Try to find another, better way to love with this fierce heart that I have. Fuck.