So, a question - how long has it been? in terms of your "exploring" a relationship with her husband, since her breakup with her bf, how long had she and bf been "live in" lovers, etc. Is he actually avoiding you or just distracted by his wife's distress? I think these factors would influence your response to his unresponsiveness.
We were only exploring for about a month, before she broke up with the other guy. They broke up the night after her husband and I became intimate. It's been about 5 weeks since their breakup. I'm not sure how long she was with her BF. But I have heard from some other people who know them, that she is the person who makes all the decisions