Wow... communication BEFORE doing things that could potentially be hurtful, resisting temptation rather than breaking boundaries, fairness and lack of jealousy between you and your wife over your OSOs... it is SO refreshing to read about things working well.
You're right that poly is hard, but I've just gotta say it seems like you're off to a great start!
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.